By Ruma Dubey
Dear Mr.Santa Claus,
Ho, Ho, Ho!!! Merry Christmas to you and your entire globetrotting team.
This is your “peak season” and am sure you will have no respite till Christmas day. Every child is looking forward to greet you, with a dream in their eyes that you will fulfill all their wishes.
There is a child in every grown-up and that child today sends you a wish list of all things needed to bring on new cheer for the New Year.
We know that what we are asking for could be beyond you but then what’s the harm is asking, right? At the most you may not be able to give us all that we need but at least our wishes will get registered?
So here goes:
First and foremost, dear Santaji, can you please get us a household device which can clear the smog and pollution surrounding not just Delhi but all major cities in India? Majority of us Indians do not really care much about protecting the environment so a device to clear the rubbish would be great. Maybe lessons in driving a sleigh like you could help?
Please give our PM more strength and will to push through all the reforms. You see, he has promised so much but right now, nothing much seems to be happening. Crashing hope is worse than bullet wounds.
There is a growing sense of intolerance to everything and anything. Fringe groups are mushrooming up all around, dictating terms. Can you please set right the moral compass and stop this growing rightist feeling in the country? Yes, this is too much to ask, even from you!
Oil prices are on the rebound and slowly but surely fuel prices are climbing up. Can you please put a freeze on the current price, at least for us mere mortals because when prices were low, many of us had bought vehicles and if price rise continues the same way, most might not be able to afford their cars.
It would be impossible, Santaji, even for you to make India corruption free. But maybe you can sprinkle a sense of shame all around India; maybe this rare character, almost extinct in India, can help change some behavior?
Santaji, you might not be aware of the economic woes. But in case you are aware, can you keep the inflation rates as low as they are currently, so that demand does take off and growth kicks off all over again. Please use your magic wand and get the multitude of unemployed youth some form of employment and dignity.
Now this is something which, maybe, you can really do. Santaji, on your swoop down into North India, just take a small deviation and visit the juggis and jhopadis. There are scores of children there, dying either due to cold or illness. Can you pretty please give them warmth, good food and better tents to live in?
We have embarked on this ambitious “Make in India” program in India. Can you please ensure that land, power, water, infra bottlenecks are removed so that this does become a reality? Yes, this is even too much to ask of you but we thought, “let’s give it a try, maybe?”
Like you giving gifts out of huge sacks, giving us what we ordered, Santaji, can you please teach these logistical skills to our Indian online retailers as they seem to be struggling to deliver, even within India?
Santaji, we heard that interest rates on FDs, PPF and all the saving tools of the senior citizens will go down further. I hope you can bring us all a gift of some saving instrument which will help support this elderly population of India.
And while you are travelling around the world, can you please carry some extra-large sacks to fill it up with all the black money hoarded by Indians all over the globe? Do you get access to the Swiss bank accounts? If you bring back that money, a lot of our economic issues could get resolved in a jiffy.
This is not a wish – just wanted to know – are all your toys and giveaways also ‘Made in China’?
Well, the list can go on and on but surely, you have millions of wish lists to go through and you must be super busy! Please give a thought to our wish list; maybe that’s all we will get – a thought?
Jai Ho and Merry Christmas!
PS: Do you have an SMS or a Whatsapp where we can contact you directly next time? After all, snail mail is dying away and very soon, you too will need a better ‘app’ to stay connected.
And one more thing – in India, we do not have chimneys; so please do not waste your time trying to find one. Try climbing up the stairs as it would be better to have a fitter Santa. Yes, being fat is no longer correct and you could send the wrong message to the children. Please don’t mind!